Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize