Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
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