meet me or not, i'm out of control
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
