Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
