You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize