just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
