Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Randomize
