I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
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