I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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