All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
