So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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