he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
