No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
My dick has a subreddit
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
