so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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