so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
