Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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