yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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