Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
