if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
