I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
