Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
