I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
