Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
