i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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