I hate all girls vehemently.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
