I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
You ate ashes out of my bong
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
