But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
