im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Randomize
