Your face is a jimmy john
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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