she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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