he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
