Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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