Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
