haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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