tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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