he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
