Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
