my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
