Me too!
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
