If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
there was a trapeze. enough said
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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