It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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