I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize