his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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