Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
