I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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