The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I will die if light touches me.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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