I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
