I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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