My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
