Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
