Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
