Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
