I'm really into asian looking animals
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Randomize
