would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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