It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
