dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Randomize
