I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I want a musical about memes.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize