So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
