Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Success! We fucked roommates!
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
