He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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