Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
