Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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