I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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