Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(770): View more from Georgia

I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you

Fav 36 1368 4764
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.

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(716): View more from New York

I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"

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(760): View more from California

Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.

(432): View more from Texas

You're so wise.

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(440): View more from Ohio

Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?

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(613): View more from Ontario

WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country

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(985): View more from Louisiana

So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.

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