Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize