took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
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