her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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