I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
You have to summon your inner elephant
You need Xanax blowdarts
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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