the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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